It’s a tale as old as time. You know …. Men.
I and my roomie were on a roll a few days ago, dissecting the issues that surround matters of the heart. So, we are at that age and point in our lives, where the idea of ‘settling down’ has moved from some abstract, imaginary, many-years-later, phenomenon, to a it’s-about-to-happen or it-better-happen-soon, thing.
We talked and talked into the night; laughing when we could and sighing at other times. The question that governed most of our talk was: ‘how do you know the marriage will work?’
If you are like me, finding Mr. Correct-Guy is not really what keeps you up at night. It’s more of the following questions:
a) Are we always going to be in love?
b) What if things get irreparably bad after “I do”?
Roomie insists that there are two cardinal sins that she can’t accept in a marriage: infidelity and violence. Most people will have that too as their worst fears; some others might have longer lists of cardinal sins or different combinations. Then there is the question of what the experiences of failed relationships do to you. How much it changes your view and approach to love or the idea of marriage. Does having walls around your heart help?
I grew up hearing men were the villains in this thing called love. I still remember advices from aunties and older women to run and protect your heart as much as you can. When I finally encountered real life, I realized the matters of the heart are more complicated than an evil and good side. Most importantly, men are not demons. They are flawed human beings like women.
I have thought about the marriages that happen for reasons other than love. Are they less complicated if they have less or no emotional weight-lifting? I honestly don’t know the answer to that question. However, each time I confronted with a thought or conversation or experience, that is silently or obviously titled ‘man problems’, I remember my parents. I could write an entire book on those two. They have been married for 24 years and they are my favorite love-story.
They remind me that ‘Marriage Works’. If you also look around you, you will find at least one union that keeps your hope alive.
So, if you have had a heartbreak or you are worried about having one; if you are in a relationship or considering getting into one; if you are married or about say those vows, stay positive and optimistic; love hard and sincerely. Most importantly, have faith in God and trust that everything will work out for good.
As for ‘Man problems’, there’s really nothing like that; there is just ‘Life’.
Make it a Winning-Day
WDG
I worry about those questions too:
What if there's a halo that pops into nothing after the 'I do's?
Or even in just a relationship, what if it's just infatuation, and how long before it dies off?
What is/are the dealbreaker(s)? Go, roomie 😉 but …
How irreparable really, is 'irreparable'?
The more you wonder, the more you realize you'll never know until … well, until you know!lol
*this woman called life can like to be form barrrdest with somebody shaa*smh
For some reason, your questions got me thinking even deeper. Your questions are sooooo valid. I have a theory though: be willing to do your best and trust God to do what you can't. That's what helps me sleep at night.